Friday Morning Staffing Humor – Part I: “Sorry, but I can’t work today…”

by Brenda Long

I recently asked our staffing software clients for a few of the best or should I say worst excuses they have gotten from their employees for not coming to work.  I intended to make a top 10 list, but the response was so great and I think everyone really enjoyed sharing that this is likely to be a weekly series for the next month or so.  So check back for the next few Friday mornings and start your day with a good dose of staffing humor.

I can’t decide which is more surprising to me, the ones that are undoubtedly fabricated or those that are so brutally honest.

1. Unemployment pays me more
2. I don’t have clean clothes and I need to do laundry
3. “My dog was murdered.”… but I could hear him barking in the background
4. I am being taken to the hospital to have a baby and I didn’t know I was pregnant
5. An employee that was a new father was a no show to work and called in saying “I forgot you gotta buy diapers for the baby!”
6. I won’t be in today. I’m still drunk from last night
7. My neighbor’s daughter got a round hair brush stuck in her hair and I need to help her get it out
8. Just not motivated to go to work today but will be there tomorrow
9. Called because it was going to be a nice day and she wanted to work on her tan because she was planning on going out that night with her friends.
10. Just too good for this kind of work

Feel free to comment with your own great staffing stories and check back next Friday morning for another list of great excuses.